I feel out of sorts tonight. Not quite sure what’s wrong, but I don’t feel right.
I don’t feel sad, per se.. just.. like I’m at a loose end. Lost. Not quite sure what to do with myself. I have a real feeling of discontentment tonight.
You know that feeling when you want something to eat or drink, but you’re not sure what? It’s like that. I want to do something, but I don’t know what, and I don’t know if it would make me feel better anyway.
I’m not in the mood to go out and socialise with friends – I feel too emotional – yet I’m not enjoying the prospect of staying at home alone either.
It’s nights like tonight that the only thing I want is to curl up into daddy’s lap. To feel his fingers run through my hair, down to my neck and back. Just to burrow myself into him and feel his strong arms resting over me, to feel his warmth.
I need him to tell me what to do. It doesn’t matter what, it could be anything. It could be nothing – it could be to just lay down with him & relax. It doesn’t matter, I just need to feel his power over me.
He’d understand that I’m not feeling myself, it’s one of those bad days I’ve been having. He’d lift my head up and look into my eyes. He’d run his hands down my body and hold them on the small of my back and tell me it will all be okay. Everything will be fine.
I’d look into his eyes and know it to be true.
I’d kiss his lips gently and smile softly. I’d lie down again, snuggle back into him. No longer at a loose end. No longer unsure of what I want or where I should be.