It all started with one of Marilyn’s lines from Gentlemen Prefer Blondes.
“Oh Daddy, I bet you made me the happiest girl in the world”
She says this to her fiance. I loved it. It’s old fashioned, it’s romantic in it’s own way. To be perfectly honest, the idea of calling my boyfriend daddy? It’s kind of dirty, and I like dirty things.
So ever since I stumbled into this world of perversions, I’ve been fascinated with the idea of having a ‘daddy dominant’… yet the thought of ‘age play’ or ‘adult baby’ play has never been something I’ve been attracted to.
For a long time, the fact I had no interest in roleplaying a child really put me off exploring the daddy/girl dynamic further. I know that to some people they go hand in hand, or that one cannot exist without the other, but to me, now, I see them as very different things.
I suppose the bottom line is.. I don’t feel ‘little’. I don’t have that craving inside of me to be or act like a child.
Don’t get me wrong, some times I feel like I’m going to be a perpetual teenager, a part of me feels like I’ll never really grow up. But in my every day life, as an adult, I find it very difficult to be open and forth coming with my feelings. I find it hard to let people in and to allow myself to be vulnerable. I always want to appear strong – never weak, never needy – definitely not clingy. I never want to be pitied or felt sorry for – there could be nothing worse for me, my pride couldn’t take it.
Yet it’s something I crave beyond comprehension; to be so completely vulnerable, to let someone see straight into my soul, into the core of who I really am. I know that the person who is suited to me long term will encourage me to be honest about my emotions, even if it means allowing myself to be vulnerable. He’ll want me to be vulnerable with him.
Yes.. I like to be made to feel small, both physically and mentally.. sometimes I like to be made to feel inferior.. but I don’t feel like a child.
Yes, I can be childlike and there are some rather childish things I enjoy. I like being read to, being told when to go to bed and told a story. I love knee high socks, silly knickers and I love Winnie the Pooh books more than any normal person should, but that’s as far as it goes. Those are parts of me, me as a whole.
You remember when you were a little girl, and your Dad was the best, cleverest, funniest, most handsome man ever? He was so tall and strong, always smiling.. he’d pick you up and hug you and tell you that you were his Princess. He’d always looks after you, always make sure you were cared for… I guess that’s not too different to what I want now.
To me, having a daddy isn’t about dressing up in nappies and playing with crayons, it’s about having a dominant partner who is kind, caring, supportive & encouraging. He is also strict, authoritative, and can discipline and punish me when I need it. I need to be able to look to him for comfort and guidance, but also correction. I want to be impressed with his knowledge, I want to admire him and learn from his life experiences – but most of all I want to respect him and know that Daddy knows best. He knows better than me. He knows how to look after me in his own way, and let me look after him in mine. I look up to him and I naturally want to please him and to be the best I can be. I want to be a good girl, his good girl.
I might disappoint him, not on purpose, but I’m only human. He won’t make me feel inferior me about my shortcomings, but he will deal with them if necessary. He’ll talk to me about how I’ve failed him and help guide me to a place where I won’t do it again.
I thrive on authority, structure and rules. Daddy will like these too, because it means he can look after me and make sure I’m behaving myself.
I want to be allowed to be needy, to cling to him, to show him my affections and share with him my worries. Knowing that he won’t judge me.. he’ll reassure me, make me feel safe and protected and know that I’m happiest when I’m being his good girl.
‘Daddy’ might ‘abuse’ me or hurt me, but I’ll understand that I’m doing these things for him, to please him. To make him happy. That’s all I want.
Daddy really is the head of the household – the decision maker – the final voice and the last word that I always listen to.
This is what I crave. To be Daddy’s Girl.
I wrote this a couple of years ago on my IC account, reading it today has brought back a lot of memories. It’s funny, because I still feel precisely the same way about my submission.. Maybe some things never change..