“Beginning to regret earlier, sweetheart?” I hear your calm voice come from behind me. You sound at ease, relaxed. You sound almost amused actually
I feel a familiar heat rise from the pit of my stomach, right up to my chest. Anger. Rage. Yet I remain still, quiet. I’ll be damned if I let you see that your getting to me.
A small laugh escapes your lips, I hear it from the corner of the room. I’m certain you’re still sitting in that chair, you’re probably leant back, hands resting on the sides of armchair, watching me. I can imagine you right now – you smarmy bastard – you’re enjoying every minute of this. You fucker.
I can feel your eyes on me as I’m knelt on the floor. I’m suddenly aware of my arms straining against the bedpost where you’ve tied them to. I feel uncomfortable knowing you’re probably casting your eyes down naked body, my arched back, legs slightly spread. A shiver runs down my spine when I think about you watching me, seeing me helpless like this. I hate it, I hate how angry it makes me, and how much it turns me on.
You start getting to your feet. The shift of your weight, the movement from the chair, your footsteps travelling from across the room, coming closer towards me. The sound from your steps stop, I can feel you near me now. I can almost feel the heat radiating from your body.
I really wish I could see you right now, to see your face. Do you look amused? Angry?
You’re behind me and I feel small, tiny, compared to you in this moment. You crouch down behind me, still above me in height and I feel you leaning in close behind my ear.
“Get up” you snarl quietly at me. your hand grabbing my ass and pinching it hard. I don’t respond, I stay still, defiant.
You sit crouched beside me for a moment or two, then before I know it your hand makes contact with my face. Once, twice you slap me, hard across my cheek. I try and move away but I can only get so far in my predicament. I look at you in shock, tears forming in my eyes. I’m gripping the bed frame now and I can feel the rope digging into my wrists.
Letting out a mock sigh, you stand up, “Stop trying to fuck me off sweetheart. Get up. Now.”
No. I won’t. My anger and hurt builds up in my chest. I won’t give you the satisfaction.
You give me a minute, waiting for me to move, but I don’t. Normally I’d do as you told me but not tonight, my temper got the better of me earlier and it hasn’t gone away. I sit still and feel you looking down at me.
“You know that pouting never gets you anywhere sweetheart, I really don’t know why you bother”
But still I stay there, I won’t get up. You come over towards me and lightly trace your fingers down my hair, I try and move my head away, I don’t want you touching me. You notice and let go of my hair.
“It’s okay, I know you don’t want to get up.” You soothe me. “You can stay there sweetheart”
If anyone else had said those words to me, in that tone of voice, I’d have felt relief. I would think they’d let me go, put me to bed and that would be it. But I know you.
Before I realise what’s going on, you’re beside me and shoving me discarded knickers into my mouth. I try to scream against them, move my head away, but it’s no use. You put duct tape over my mouth and around my head to keep them in place.
I’m screaming against them but only muffled sounds come out. You throw me an amused glance and with that I hear you go over to the window behind me and open it wide. I feel the wind coming in, it’s cold against my skin and makes me shiver. I hear you walk over towards the other end of the room, you switch off the light and close the door behind you as you leave.
I can’t believe it, you’ve actually left me in here. No. It’s okay, I think to myself, you’ll come back soon. You know I hate the dark.
I hear the front door being closed downstairs, the sound of your car door opening, and closing. The sound of the engine starting and the sound of you driving away.
Okay, you’re messing with me, I try to convince myself but I can’t help but feel panicked. After a few minutes I start to feel cold, the wind coming in from the window is starting to bite at my skin. I look over to the window, but I can’t see anything, it’s pitch black outside. No houses nearby, no streetlights. Just darkness. Just cold.
The only thing I can hear apart from the wind is my heart pounding in my chest as I try to reassure myself that you’ll come back soon. A million thoughts are running through my head as I try and pull against the rope, try and get myself free. I can’t believe you’ve done this to me.
Struggling, I can’t help but sob. The only thing keeping me from breaking down completely is the fact that I know you’ll come back.
The wind and cold have filled the room and I’m shivering now. I can hear noises form inside the house, I’m sure of it. My emotions are running wild. I start thinking that I’m hearing noises coming from outside, a car coming along maybe? Maybe it’s you?
Tears of frustration start to run down my cheeks as I realise.. No, it’s not you. I know you. You won’t be back any time soon.