By it’s very nature I feel as though it should be a punishment. Something to fear and dread. At times it is. But not this time.
You call me over. I walk toward you, can barely keep your gaze.
This time, tonight, I want it. No. I need it. I can’t stop thinking about it.
You take off your belt. The sound of the leather sliding through each loop, gliding around your trousers – it’s intoxicating.
I watch your lips move as you talk to me, watching your arms and hands move making gestures that I’m too preoccupied to really understand.
The belt is laid on the bed, you sit down next to it. Your hand next to it. I wonder which will come first. If you’ll be kind.
I used to think it was dull, boring.
I imagine you positioning me, over your knee, hands behind my back, vulnerable. Just the way you like me.
Why can’t I stop thinking about it?
Your hand caressing my naked thigh, slowly working up toward my skirt.
You’re still talking to me but I can’t concentrate.
My body tingling as you reach the apex of my thighs. Moving down to check if I’m enjoying this. Fuck.
I don’t know what to do with myself. I want to your attention, I need to get your attention.
Slowly you remove my knickers, sliding them down my thighs, past my ankles. They land on the floor.
I say something I know you won’t like. I do it on purpose. I need a reaction from you. I need.. something..
Your strong hands running back up my legs.. you’re lingering, teasing me. You know I want this. I need it.
I’m needy, can’t you see?
Please, please, show me who’s in charge. Put me in my place.
I need to feel your hands on me. I need to feel the familiar warmth your palm leaves on me.
One of your hands grips both my forearms and holds them together. I can’t help but wriggle my ass, unintentionally grinding forward on to your knee.
You look at my almost knowingly. Do you know? Do you know what I need?
The first time your hand lands on my ass is hard and fast. Like a slap. The way you slap my face. It hurts.. but I exhale. I can breathe.
“Tell me what you’re trying to achieve, little girl.” I feel small now. So small. You know.
You beat me and I struggle underneath you. Hands, belt, hand. Each strike landing more ferociously, each blow harder than the last.
Silence. I’m supposed to speak first, I know. You hold my gaze, my heart beats faster in my chest.
Fuck, it hurts. Fuck, I want this. Each time your palm leaves my skin a little part of me floats away too.
I can barely speak, my face is red and I’m embarrassed and full of shame. Why is this so hard? Why do I need this?
I’m on your knee, red and bruised and broken. I’m in my place. I’m free. I’m yours.
“Please, will you spank me?”